Wednesday, September 2, 2009

Helpless

Word of the day: help-less (adjective) Unable to help oneself; weak or dependent.

I am frustrated and overtired and annoyed and bummed out and irritated and anxious and worried and stressed.

But most of all, I feel completely, totally, utterly helpless.  And I damn well HATE feeling helpless.

I really thought that by this time I would be done with those effing bed bugs.  I really, truly did.  But alas, I am not.  I will be exterminated again on Friday, which is good, but in the meantime there is nothing I can do.  They should be gone after a second treatment (ha, should) and I really hope they are.  I really would like to put my life back in order, get back on a regular sleeping schedule (hell, just get back to sleeping in my bed), get back to a regular eating schedule (no more dinners that consist of spoonfuls of peanut butter, straight from the jar), get back to the gym so I feel human again.

And I'd really like to stop dreaming about bugs.  I'm sleeping poorly enough as it is, I don't need to have my dream world invaded by bugginess that only causes additional restlessness.

Most of all, I just want my home back.  Sigh.

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