Friday, July 31, 2009

I got nothing

Word of the day: en-nui (noun) A feeling of utter weariness and discontent resulting from satiety or lack of interest; boredom.

(Isn't "ennui" a pretty way to describe being bored out of one's skull?)


It's the Friday before the long weekend and I am not only still at work at 3:15 pm but I am the only one in my department. I could leave - I have been told to leave - but I have to catch a bus pretty much right after work so there's not much point in going home. While I'm not looking forward to schlepping up to Parry Sound on the Friday of a long weekend, at least I'm not driving, which means I can space out with music and a book or just plain old-fashioned sleep.

But what to do with myself until it's time to leave? Believe it or not, I'm fairly tired of the internet. I should have brought some knitting with me. You'd think that working for a magazine publisher would supply me with an endless supply of reading material but both our weekly magazines published double issues last week (I'm shaking my fist at you, Maclean's) so I have nothing. Well, that's not true; I have the super-big 30th anniversary issue of Flare...but it's not quite the editorial content I'm looking for. But it has foil stamping on the cover (FOIL STAMPING!) which is very pretty to look at. I heart foil stamping.

Oh, there is this gem, which invokes a deep Canuckian pride in me:

I may hate Star Trek but William Shatner is a national treasure.

Sunday, July 26, 2009

The simplest things are often the hardest

Word of the day: ob-liv-i-ous (adjective) Unmindful; unconscious; unaware.

Today I decided that the world would be a better place if people turned the Blackberries off and turned the common sense on.

Sunday, July 19, 2009

No children allowed

Word of the day: peace-ful (adjective) Peaceable; not argumentative, quarrelsome, or hostile: a peaceful disposition.

I wish there were adult-only grocery stores. Not adult-only in a Brass Rail kind of way, but adult-only in a no children kind of way.

I love me some children, don't get me wrong. My boyfriend's sister-in-law is pregnant with twin boys and I CAN'T WAIT for them to come along in November. (I even told him he can't break up with me before their born.)

But just think how wonderful it would be to grocery shop without kids running up and down aisles and popping out unexpectedly in front of your cart; without strollers the size of the Hindenburg taking up the entire aisle or inevitably being parked in front of the frozen food freezer door you need to open; without little kids in front of you in line at the check-out, screaming and crying because Mommy won't buy them a Kit Kat.

'Twould be glorious. Sigh.

Sweet dreams

Word of the day: la-zy (adjective) Averse or disinclined to work, activity, or exertion; indolent.

I spent a very exciting Friday night doing laundry, among other menial household tasks. It was also time to wash my sheets, so I threw them in with the mix. While I love having clean clothes and enjoy the smell of clean clothes and particularly love climbing into a bed made up with freshly laundered sheets, I really hate folding laundry and putting it away. I also really hate making the bed. (It should be noted that the other household task I absolutely despise is washing dishes. But give me your ironing, your dirty bathrooms, your dusting, give me window-washing and vacuuming and mopping, and I will complete each task with a smile on my face and a song in my heart. Just no dishes and no laundry.)

So what is one to do with a basket full of clean but unfolded laundry? Even though I love ironing, I don't care to iron everything I own so I dumped all my laundry onto my (unmade) bed. As this was about 10:30 at night and I was winding down for the evening (because I'm lame and being in bed around 11:00 on a Friday is a good thing for me) I opted to leave my laundry strewn across my bed and sleep on the couch.

How's that for lazy?

(Tonight, however, I am sleeping in my freshly-washed, freshly-made-up bed. AAAAH.)

Tuesday, July 14, 2009

Is it hot in here or is it just me?

Word of the day: greenhouse effect (noun) An atmospheric heating phenomenon, caused by short-wave solar radiation being readily transmitted inward through the earth's atmosphere but longer-wavelength heat radiation less readily transmitted outward, owing to its absorption by atmospheric carbon dioxide, water vapor, methane, and other gases; thus, the rising level of carbon dioxide is viewed with concern.

Why is it that people only complain about global warming (or a perceived lack there-of) when it's 20 degrees and windy in July but have no problem with global warming when it's 15 degrees in December?

Thursday, July 9, 2009

Damn English language

Word of the day: con-fused (verb) To fail to distinguish between; associate by mistake; confound:

While typing an email at work today, I wanted to use the word “biweekly” but I couldn’t remember if it meant twice a week or every two weeks. Upon asking a co-worker, I was met with the same confusion and she also mentioned the word “bimonthly” and what it actually meant.

Thankfully, we live in the internet age, so off to I went. First, I checked “biweekly”. Here’s what I got:

1. occurring every two weeks.
2. occurring twice a week; semiweekly.

I then checked “bimonthly”. This came up:

1. occurring every two months.
2. occurring twice a month; semimonthly.


Now, it was my understanding that “twice a week” and “every two weeks” were actually two different things, since, you know, something happening twice a week runs on a different schedule than something happening every two weeks. So if I told you I wanted to start a biweekly knitting club, how often do you think we would meet to knit?

How can one word mean two very different things?!?!?!

And if “semiweekly” means “occurring twice a week”, then why not have “biweekly” mean “every two weeks” and “semiweekly” mean “twice a week”?

I just do not understand.

(I also checked and got the same results. Bah.)

Wednesday, July 8, 2009

King of Stop

Word of the day: saturation (noun) The flooding of a market with all of a commodity that consumers can purchase.

In case you haven’t heard, Michael Jackson died.

Now let me say that any death is a terrible tragedy and a traumatic experience for the family and close friends left behind. Simply put, it really, really sucks.

As well, any time a celebrity dies, there will be media saturation. When a favourite media target like Michael Jackson dies, there will be A LOT of media saturation.

But, honestly, can we please move on?

My biggest beef with all the hype surrounding the King of Pop is that the musical legacy he will leave behind ended at least 10 years ago and that is not going to change just because he died. Will Thriller stay the best selling album of all time? I sure hope so. Will I feel compelled to dance, no matter where I am, whenever I hear the opening bass lines of Billie Jean? Absolutely. Do I wish I could moon walk? Every day. (Okay, that might be exaggerating, but you get my point.)

I honestly don’t care that he hung his baby over a balcony or his nose may or may not fall off at any given moment or that he wore pajama bottoms to court. It’s of no interest to me that he drapes his children in all manner of scarves when they are out in public or that his Neverland ranch has been foreclosed or that he moved to Bahrain. Thing is, this is the man he has been in the past 15 years and none of this has added (positively) to his legacy as the King of Pop. And I will not deny him the impact he made, first as part of the Jackson 5 and later as a solo artist. I’m just really done with this big media love affair that’s going on, despite the fact the media has been more than vicious to him over the past decade plus.

But as a society, we keep eating it up and pretend we didn’t buy the tabloids with stories about “Wacko Jacko” and then read those stories with a perverse kind of glee and then we gush about how he was the greatest musician ever and we’re all his biggest fan and then have to rush out and buy all his albums because we don’t own them, despite being his biggest fan.

Please. Just. Stop.

I’d like to get back to my regularly scheduled effed-up world, if it’s all the same to you.

Tuesday, July 7, 2009

Get in line

Word of the day: retro (adjective - informal) Of or designating the style of an earlier time.

I was nine when I got my Nintendo Entertainment System. It was Christmas 1989 and it was the best gift I had ever received. It came with the standard Super Mario Bros. and Duck Hunt games, but I also got that single greatest video game of all time: Tetris.

I spent hours playing Tetris and quickly learned to not be bothered by the indentations made in my hands by the square controllers. I would like to pretend that my memory is so good I could tell you my high score and it would be some monumental achievement, but alas, that is not so. I do know I was good at it.

I keep thinking that one day I should get myself an old NES and a Tetris game and play like I’ve never played before. My lovely boyfriend has let me borrow his Nintendo DS and I do play Tetris on it, but it’s just not the same.

I had the good fortune to spend this past weekend with the boyfriend at his cottage and any good cottage weekend requires a delicious treat. While s’mores are delightful, I wanted something a little…well, a little more appropriate (read: nerdy) for the two of us. I stumbled upon the idea for Tetris brownies and knew this is what it had to be.

I think mine turned out a lot better.