Here and now? Not so much

You know those people who "live for the moment", who can be totally submersed in the here-and-now without thinking (too much) about the there-and-later? Well, I'm not one of them.

I just can't do it. I've been told that I should just relax and learn to be more in the moment, to focus on what is happening at the present and not dwell so much on the future, but alas, that is not my character.

I blame it on being a word person. I need definitions. I can't just exist in a moment; I need to know what it means. And if I'm not told directly what it does mean then I must think about all the possible things it could mean and try to extrapolate the most likely definition of said moment. Of course I can never come up with a final definition before the "moment" is gone so I must continue to think about it long afte r it has past, so not only can I not enjoy the moment but any subsequent moments that might come up are tainted by the ghosts of moments past as I try to comprehend what I had previously experienced.

Honestly, what the hell is wrong with me? Stupid moments.

I see dead people

Well, not really. But I have decided that the elevators in my building are haunted.

You know how buildings will have a 13th floor but in the elevators and stairwells and such, they "skip" the 13th floor and go from 12 to 14? Well, my building is no different. And the elevator does this weird thing where it will stop at the 14th floor - whether going up or down - even when no one is getting on or off.

Of course, the 14th floor comes after the 12th floor so it is actually THE THIRTEENTH FLOOR that the elevator mysteriously stops at.

[Insert spooky music here]

Who know, maybe there really is a floor labeled 13 and when I find it I'll also find a passageway into John Malkovich's head.